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For parents who recently found out their child has Autism

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Negative Behavior? Try Approaching with Curiosity

2/24/2020

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This Blog post is part of a mini-series I have about how to best respond to negative and non-preferred behavior. 

I had a family come up to me this past week and have questions about how to best decrease their child’s negative and non-preferred behaviors. While they can be many reasons a child demonstrates negative and non-preferred behavior, this family felt their child’s behavior was due to his age and him not fully understanding the consequences to his actions. The family reported that yelling at their child and putting him into time-outs did not seem to be making a difference.

I encouraged the family to try something different this week. When their child acted in a negative or non-preferred way, I urged them to approach with curiosity instead of with anger and yelling. I encouraged this family to simply ask their child “why did you do that?” 

 By asking their child this question they were doing 2 very important things: 

  1. Bringing acknowledgment to their child that their emotions and actions have an impact on others
  2. Preventing a power struggle

Instead of telling the child “you are not supposed to do ____ now you are in trouble” which can lead to increased defiance and a power struggle, by simply asking the child “why did you do that?” they are helping the child acknowledge that they did not act in the most appropriate way, but are doing so in an educational manner where their child can learn from his mistakes, instead of bringing this up to a child in a way that would encourage more negative and non-preferred behavior.

This week I encourage you to approach with curiosity if your child shows a negative or non-preferred behavior. Leave a comment below and let me a time you approached your child’s behavior with curiosity and how your child responded.

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See you soon!
Michael Jankowski, MS, OTR/L
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Setting your Child up for Success at School

2/17/2020

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For a child with special needs, attending school can be very difficult due to sensory aversions, behavioral concerns, and difficulty engaging with peers and teachers. This difficulty the child has can carry over to the child’s family making the school year (and navigating school) very difficult for the child and their family.
 
Try the following strategies to set your child up for success in school:

  • Establish communication with your child’s teacher at the beginning of the school year. Make sure you take the time to introduce yourself, your child, and any other family members who may be involved with your child’s schooling or communicating with the child’s teacher. I encourage families to do this at the beginning of the school year – don’t want until you have questions or concerns. This way you have already established the best way to communicate with the teacher (phone, email, etc.) and this way the teacher is familiar with your child and family. That way if there are any questions or concerns, they can be addressed quickly.
 
  • Familiarize yourself with any IEPs, 504 plans, or supports/services your child needs to be successful in school. If your child has an IEP or 504 plan, make sure you are familiar with the document and what supports and services your child is supposed to be receiving. This way if you have concerns about what services your child is receiving you can compare this with what services are outlined in the IEP or 504 plan.

  • Don’t have an IEP or 504 plan for your child? No problem! If you feel that your child with special needs may benefit from having additional support or services in school, reach out to your child’s principal and teacher and let them know that you would like to have them evaluated for services.

Make sure you sign up for our mailing list to know whenever we post New blog posts and to be the first to receive info on our new products and services.

See you soon!
Michael Jankowski, MS, OTR/L
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Being Present

2/4/2020

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I hope everyone is doing well this week. I wanted to take a quick moment to discuss a topic that has been coming up recently in my sessions – Being Present. When we are able to be present with our children, we are helping their growth and development tremendously. We are letting our children know that they are our priority and that we value our relationship with them. In addition, we are setting a good example for our children that while we may become distracted from time to time, the relationships we have with our family members and others are extremely important and maintaining those positive relationships should be seen as a priority. I have also had some families report to me that negative behavior from their children decreases when their parents are present as their children feel they have their parent’s attention and do not have to act out to receive it. Whether you have a child with special needs or not, the feelings of wanting to be valued and loved are universal. 
 
Are you having difficulty being present with your children? That’s ok, like most things in life being present is a practice and it takes time to develop and maintain this skill. Start with these simple tips:

  • Set a designated family time – life gets busy for everyone but by setting designated family time we make it a priority to be present and spend time with each other. This could be a weekly event such as a family game night or a daily routine such as singing songs or reading stories before we go to bed.
 
  • Put the phone away – it is extremely easy to get distracted by our phones, be it a text message, email, or phone call. Our phone may start to ring and light up and steal our attention and focus. A simple thing to do is to put your phone on silent and put it away during family time to minimize distractions. In addition, this is setting a positive example for our children that family comes first.
 
  • Be curious – I have talked to some parents and they have told me that they have set up designated family time and they have put their phones away, but they still find their mind racing when spending time with their children. If you find this happening to you, trying viewing things from your child’s perspective and approaching things with curiosity.

How do you spend time being present with your family? Let us know in the comments below.
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See you soon!
Michael Jankowski, MS, OTR/L
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