This week’s blog post is a follow up to our blog post last week about choosing priorities. 
 
It’s that time of year where the holidays are creeping closer and closer. With the holidays soon arriving, we want to make sure we make time for ourselves as parents.
 
While the holidays can typically be a fun time of year for people, they can unfortunately bring added stress, anxiety, exhaustion, and frustration to the table. Whether it is trying to coordinate a get together with families or friends, whether we are trying to clean and/or decorate our house for guests, or whether we are trying to help our children manage their emotions this time of year. There are typically a lot of things going on this time of year.
 
It is important with all the hustle, bustle, and busyness that we prioritize our health, wellbeing, and taking care of ourselves. This is extremely hard to do this time of year with everything that is going on. But we know that if we don’t receive an adequate amount of sleep each night, eat healthy, exercise, and take some time for ourselves we will become more irritable, have less flexibility, and will frankly not enjoy this time of year as much. This is a prime example of the saying “easier said than done” and we want to be patient with ourselves during this process. Know that the practice of carving out time for yourself during the day for your health and well-being takes time and patience. Try your best and be gentle with yourself if you make mistakes or it takes a couple of tries to achieve the proper mix and balance. We are all constantly learning and growing and trying to do the best we can.
 
I hope you and your family have a smooth and enjoyable holiday season. Stay posted to flowoccupationaltherapy.com/blogs for future blog posts with additional strategies for helping your child and family navigate the often busy and stressful time of the year that is associated with the holidays.

As always, feel free to email me at blog@goflowoccupationaltherapy.com if you have any questions.

See you soon!
Michael Jankowski, MS, OTR/L

​I was talking to a group of parents recently and they had identified a couple areas of need for their child, but they did not know where to start. As we continued to talk, I discussed prioritizing goals with them.
 
When talking about priorities, I like to give the analogy of signing up for a gym membership. Let’s say I sign up for a gym membership and I make goals of going to the gym three times a week, losing weight, becoming stronger, taking a yoga class, and being able to run 5 miles. It is awesome to have these goals to make sure I maximize my time at the gym and to receive the results I want. However, having so many goals to try and accomplish at one time can be very difficult. As a result, it can lead to feelings of discouragement if we are unable to accomplish as many things as we have hoped. In this example above of signing up for a gym membership, it would be more realistic to say, “my goal is to go to the gym two times this week.” Once I am consistently able to go to the gym two times per week, then I can add on another goal and say, “now I want to go to the gym two times per week and take one yoga class a week.” By prioritizing my larger goals into smaller achievable smaller goals, the end goal is more attainable. With each success we have, it will further provide additional internal motivation for us.
 
It is the same way when addressing any concerns we have for our children. We may identify multiple areas of need, but we want to prioritize those areas of need to set ourselves (both our child and family) up for success.
 
There is nothing wrong with saying I want to work with my child on shoe tying, writing his name, transitioning without meltdowns, decreasing his sensory aversion, and having my child be able to sit at the table for a meal without getting up numerous times. It is great to have these goals, and these are all goals that we can eventually work towards. However, for the child above we may identify transitioning without meltdowns and decreasing sensory aversions as the biggest areas of need and the areas we want to address immediately. Once we make some progress on those goals, then we can address shoe tying, writing their name, and sitting at the table. 
 
When we prioritize our goals we are simply identifying which goals are most important to maximize our time and resources and decrease any discouragement.
 
I hope this concept of prioritizing works well for you and your family this week. Questions?  Email me at blog@goflowoccupationaltherapy.com

See you soon!
Michael Jankowski, MS, OTR/L

I had a great talk with a parent this week. This particular parent is a single Mother and has a son who has Autism. As we continued to talk, this Mother mentioned to me how she felt overwhelmed at times. She mentioned how simply raising a child can be difficult and overwhelming at times, and she felt that raising a child with special needs can add additional difficulty and stress to a parent’s life. From feelings of embarrassment if her child has a meltdown in public settings, to concerns about her son’s future. In addition, this Mother didn’t know how she would find the extra time and resources to get her son the therapy services he needed.
 
It is important that at these times we take care of our health as parents, and we find outlets to deal with any stress or frustration we may be experiencing. I encouraged this Mother to reach out to a parenting support group. Most communities have support groups for parents who have children with special needs. These support groups give parents the opportunity to discuss concerns they are having and get support from parents in similar situations. In addition, support groups give parents an opportunity to not feel isolated or alone which is very important for a parent’s health and well-being when raising a child with special needs.

Thanks to the popularity of social media, some of these support groups have moved online, making it easier for parents to engage with other parents if they are unable to attend traditional support groups due to any limitations.
 
Fast forward a couple of days later, and this Mother had reached out to me and told me she was able to locate a parent support group and find other parents who had children with Autism and was able to discuss positive parenting strategies with these parents. Overall, this Mother had received so much from the parent support group and mentioned how her overall mood had been positively impacted as she no longer felt as overwhelmed. 

Have questions about parenting support groups? Email me at blog@goflowoccupationaltherapy.com

See you soon!
Michael Jankowski, MS, OTR/L

Teaching patience is a necessary life skill for all children. We don’t expect our children to become patient overnight, but we want to start teaching them the foundational concepts of patience at an early age to set them up for success for times when their patience will be tested (with siblings, peers, other family members, at school, and in the community.)
 
From a child’s perspective, a big shift happens when they start to become a toddler and are no longer an infant. A child goes from getting what they want when they want (I am hungry, I cry, and I get fed. I want attention, I cry, and I get played with. I need a new diaper, I cry, and I get changed.) As a child starts to become older and grow from being an infant, they start to realize that they can no longer get what they want right away (or that sometimes the answer is No). 
 
Children might expect their parents to drop what they are currently doing and get them something to eat, play with them, or help them with a task. If this doesn’t happen, they can become frustrated. We want to help our children through this process by teaching them to wait by delaying gratification. For example, if your child wants something to eat right now and you are in the middle of doing something. Instead of dropping everything you are currently doing, let them know that you need to finish what you are doing first and then you will help them. For example, “I see that you are hungry, I need to finish this phone call and then I will make you something to eat, thank you for being patient” or “I see that you want me to play with you right now, I need to finish helping your brother take a bath and then I will play with you, thank you for waiting.” By phrasing it this way, you are teaching your child that they will get what they are looking for - be it food, attention, help, etc. but they need to wait first as their parents are not just going to drop what they are doing. While it may seem small by delaying what your child wants for a minute or two, you are teaching them the foundation to wait and be patient.

When teaching patience remember that you are your child’s biggest role model. You can teach your child so much by modeling being patient and appropriate responses in scenarios where it is difficult to be patient. Don’t forget that teaching your child patience takes time, so be patient during this process (no pun intended.)

How do you teach your children about patience? Email me at blog@goflowoccupationaltherapy.com

See you soon!
Michael Jankowski, MS, OTR/L