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For parents who recently found out their child has Autism

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Being Present

2/4/2020

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I hope everyone is doing well this week. I wanted to take a quick moment to discuss a topic that has been coming up recently in my sessions – Being Present. When we are able to be present with our children, we are helping their growth and development tremendously. We are letting our children know that they are our priority and that we value our relationship with them. In addition, we are setting a good example for our children that while we may become distracted from time to time, the relationships we have with our family members and others are extremely important and maintaining those positive relationships should be seen as a priority. I have also had some families report to me that negative behavior from their children decreases when their parents are present as their children feel they have their parent’s attention and do not have to act out to receive it. Whether you have a child with special needs or not, the feelings of wanting to be valued and loved are universal. 
 
Are you having difficulty being present with your children? That’s ok, like most things in life being present is a practice and it takes time to develop and maintain this skill. Start with these simple tips:

  • Set a designated family time – life gets busy for everyone but by setting designated family time we make it a priority to be present and spend time with each other. This could be a weekly event such as a family game night or a daily routine such as singing songs or reading stories before we go to bed.
 
  • Put the phone away – it is extremely easy to get distracted by our phones, be it a text message, email, or phone call. Our phone may start to ring and light up and steal our attention and focus. A simple thing to do is to put your phone on silent and put it away during family time to minimize distractions. In addition, this is setting a positive example for our children that family comes first.
 
  • Be curious – I have talked to some parents and they have told me that they have set up designated family time and they have put their phones away, but they still find their mind racing when spending time with their children. If you find this happening to you, trying viewing things from your child’s perspective and approaching things with curiosity.

How do you spend time being present with your family? Let us know in the comments below.
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See you soon!
Michael Jankowski, MS, OTR/L
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Michael Jankowski, MS, OTR/L
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