Problem Solving for Children

Problem solving is crucial for a child’s development and understanding of how things work and how the world around them operates. We don’t expect our children to “master” problem solving at an early age, but we can lay the foundation for our children with problem solving to set them up for success in the future.

• Encourage children to use their words to describe what is happening

Is something “broken”, do we need “help”, are we “upset” – by verbalizing what is happening, we are teaching our children to think and observe and identify the “problem” before they act on it. This skill is crucial as it teaches children to control their initial impulses and emotions first and then take time to think of an appropriate response as opposed to responding without thinking.

• Encourage children to think and solve their own problems

If a child is upset because they can’t play with a certain item or toy, instead of giving the toy to them, we can ask questions like – “what should we do instead?” or “what other toy can you play with?” by asking these questions we are teaching our children to find solutions to their problems – if this is too difficult we can always provide options and examples of appropriate solutions for them which will teach children how to best respond to difficult situations. Provide options such as “do you want to play or have a snack?” or “we can’t play outside right now, but we can read a book or do finger painting, what should we do?”

•  Let our children know that we as parents and adults have to problem solve too and let them see how we handle challenging and difficult situations – Lead by Example

By modeling positive emotions and how we respond to challenges we help our child learn appropriate responses to situations. We can say things like “Mom is sad because she can’t take you to the park right now, but I am going to play a game with you instead” or “Dad is tired and is not feeling well so he is going to take a nap”. Making simple phrases like this teaches children what different emotions look like (what does happiness look like vs. what does sadness look like, what does tired look like vs. what does sick look like) and by seeing how our parents respond to these emotions we are teaching our children how to respond appropriately to difficult situations. When our children see us as parents and adults respond to difficult and challenging life events confidently, it will teach them to do the same.

See you soon!
Michael Jankowski, MS, OTR/L