Raising a child with Autism without it putting stress on your marriage

I wanted to discuss a topic today that I have discussed with numerous families. How having a child with Autism can put stress on your marriage/relationship with your spouse/partner.
 
Parenting a child with Autism can be extremely difficult:

• From the meltdowns
• To the restless nights
• To the rigid routines
• From not being able to take family outings due to fear of your child having a meltdown
• From having to constantly advocate for your child with insurance companies so they receive the services they need
• From having to constantly explain to people what Autism is and how there is nothing wrong with your child
• From having to constantly make sure your child is receiving the services they qualify for at school
• From having to dedicate extra time and money to your child’s therapy services

I have had numerous parents who have children with Autism tell me how simply exhausted they are at the end of the day.

It can be extremely hard and difficult to work on a marriage/relationship with your spouse/partner when your child requires so much of your time, energy, and resources.

• Does this sound like you or your partner?

 

• Is your marriage/relationship being tested and stressed?

 
If so, here are some tips:

1. Prioritize your self-care – take time for yourself, eat healthily, get enough sleep, exercise, make time for your friends and social circle. This will put you in the best headspace so that you can be the best headspace with your spouse/partner.
   
   
2. Prioritize your relationship with your spouse/partner – your partner and you are on the same team when it comes to parenting your child, they most likely can relate to what you are going through as a parent, and provide support.
   
   
3. Communicate frequently – communicate with your partner about your concerns, fears, and stressors. Make it a habit to discuss with your partner your high and low points of the day. Communicating often with your partner can help to share the stress and share some of the tasks which may be difficult for you.
   
   
4. Make dedicated time for your spouse/partner – any relationship needs time to foster, nurture, and grow. Your relationship with your spouse/partner is not different. Make sure you dedicate time weekly with your partner to strengthen your relationship. Things such as:

• Date nights
• Weekends away
• Shared activities – journaling, reading, puzzles, watching TV

I personally recommend putting these events with your spouse/partner in your calendar, so you don’t forget

I hope you and your family have a good week. I will see you soon!

-Michael Jankowski, MS, OTR/L